I’ve been feeling a shift coming on. I haven’t felt as aligned as I normally do and I knew it was time to reset and come back to square one and reassess. It’s been so important for me to come back to that calm stable place and reset my goals and aspirations. A good lil check in. For some reason I have not felt too balanced as of late. I tend to feel extremely guilty when I do not feel like I am reaching my full potential. The last few days I have been sick so I had to slow down my routine. I haven’t had much energy to get back on track which kind of leads me to be frustrated not gonna lie. Not being able to workout or complete my morning routine, not going outside as much.. those things really do affect me. I’m not the best at giving my body a rest but I’m out here just giving it my best shot.
Today I sat down with myself, phone away from me and asked myself what makes me feel most alive. I feel like I tend to change like the seasons. I will go in and out of my spiritual practices, taking it really seriously to kind of taking a step back. I accept myself on this and appreciate both times in my life just as much. But.. after a few months of putting my deeper questions for life and reality on the back burner, they come back up. Something about me, I feel things so deeply. I have so many questions. When I am sitting there and my mind runs off, it’s usually either analyzing the human experience or pondering about why we’re here. I can’t just fully accept that we’re just here for no reason and live my daily life, I have this deep love for exploring any theory that comes to mind. This is probably why I adore anything spiritual. It’s all about the questioning and belief of this sort of invisible faith.
I’ve attended a multitude of temples and spiritual centres ranging from churches, Buddhist temples, Hindu temples, mosques.. you name it. I love love love finding out what drives people to follow a certain path and way of life that drives their souls. I’ve always resonated more with the Mahayana tradition of Buddhism but recently I have been gravitating towards Sivananda Yoga. I’m visiting their Toronto centre tomorrow for a morning meditation. I’m familiar with the basic doctrine from my University program and their core teachings are just beyond beautiful.
My little sit down with myself today has been so refreshing. I gave myself a break for not being on track, reminded myself that I am doing enough at the moment. Came back to my practice and aligned a new path for myself. These resets bring me so much joy. It’s often hard to notice right away when you’ve fallen off track from your goals but it is so important for me to feel that misalignment and come back on my path or create a brand new one.
Made myself a beautiful healthy breakfast (haven’t had much appetite with this cold), read with my tea, meditated and worked away on those goals.
It’s a beautiful day to be alive.. especially since I just received my new xbox remotes in the mail lol. Zombie time.